Bahhh, needed to write a journal to get rid of the Twilight rant. D:

I think...I have a very, very low tolerance level for high temperatures. Or at least my skin does. Because my face is currently in the process of exploding.

I'm so sweaty I'm sticking to everything. I don't want to play tennis. I don't want to exercise. I want to lie on my stomach playing Mario Kart with the fan blowing directly at my face.

I visited the University of Spoiled Children today. And I find that nickname ironic, because from what I heard most of the classes at USC are on par with community college courses. USC students pay more tuition to go to a school with lower academic rankings than UCs in a bad neighborhood. And I am freaked out by their sports culture. It's a cult. And you never get out of it, gah.

I was impressed by the School of Architecture, though. I was lucky enough to have a one-on-one Q&A session with an actual arch. faculty member, 'twas awesome and informative. Okay, it wasn't one-on-one, but the only girl there besides me looked pretty uninterested in the major and only there because her mom and dad were practicing architects. Go figure.

Squee. Unfortunately applying to the program means creating a portfolio of 10-20 significant artworks in the next couple of months. And somehow getting to be the 150 freshmen selected every year.



No more pencils/No more books/No more teachers' dirty looks

LIES! Summer school starts this Monday.

LIEK UHMAHGAW DIDN'T YOU KNOW I WRITE IN ALL-CAPS WHEN PROVOKED.

Before reading this entry, please see: [link]
Good stuff.

Anyways, this time I was provoked by Stephanie Meyer's Twilight. I have a list of complaints that seems to grow the more I contemplate the book. Ever since the series started I've noticed a bunch of people I know turn into mindless fangirls. And even some people I thought who knew better turned on me and decided to like the novels.

Eventually I decided it wasn't fair on my part to judge a book I'd only heard of through these mindless fangirls/book reviews/Barnes and Noble ads. As I said to ~57mannequins previously, I wasn't going to judge a book by its cover; I would judge it by its disgusting contents.

So I got one of my friends (who, incidentally, disliked the book) to lend me her copy of Twilight.



And HEERRRRREEEEEEEE I GO:
(I apologize in advance for being biased in the first place, but I don't think anything I could have done would have changed that.)



Grievance #1. Let's just get this out of the way: it's a horrible book. Horrible. It doesn't get better as the plot progresses; "It's not," as *makani says, "SO BAD IT'S GOOD." It's so bad it's...bad.

Grievance #2. The feminist in me hated the construct of the characters. I didn't connect with Bella at all. To expand on this, she appears to be concerned with the problems of others, but in every case it comes down to her own problems. This is what Bella feels, this is what Bella wants. Who cares that it comes at the expense of others. Initially Bella is described as perceptive, observant, and clever, but without Edward she is a different (read: weak!) person. Does she really need to trip over herself all the time, drop things, or faint repeatedly?!! Through her actions it's pretty clear that she is ridiculously dependent and needs to be saved from certain death for the millionth time (AT WHICH POINT I WAS READY TO CHUCK THE BOOK ACROSS THE ROOM.)

Okay, so I hated Bella. But you know, I liked Edward. It makes sense. We both share godlike beauty, mind-numbing speed and awesome parallel parking skills, so it was easy to rally for him!!//SARCASM. I was annoyed with the fact that Edward was always dictating the status quo of the relationship. Bella is/was a sexual object. It's an old stereotype: women are temptresses to men, who heroically deny their appetites/impulses.

Grievance #3. WTF is up with the melodrama?! Okay, okay, I do understand that teenagers are ALL melodrama, I do, I really do. Why is Bella's heart either pounding or stalling? I do realize that Meyer writes to the young adult crowd, so it makes perfect sense that they relate to the terrible angst. I found myself rolling my eyes every few pages.

Grievance #4. I was overwhelmed by the sheer amount of romance. Not that it was cliche or cheesy in any way, NO OF COURSE NOT. I now know that no woman will EVER tire of hearing that you love her, thank you Stephanie Meyer. I will make sure to employ that particular tactic on the women around me someday. Telling them they smell "floral somehow" doesn't hurt either I guess.

Grievance #5. I don't have problems with authors including mythical creatures in their novels (as in Harry Potter), only with authors using them to sell books. Simply put, I think vampires (and later, werewolves) in the Twilight series served only to make the story appealing to young readers. Of course tweens find vampires sexy. Meyer did not even attempt to take an introspective look into the non-human. I was a bit disappointed.

Grievance #6. The pacing is retarded, for lack of better words. All the action seems to come after page 300 with little to no plotbuilding. Rising action, falling action? Tension? Oh, unless you're talking about sexual tension? That's a different story. There's plenty of that.


Anyways, I made a post to this effect on a fan forum and got this response:

"if you do not like twilght there is something insanly wrong with you or the rest of the world who is head over heals for this book. i WILL be buried with the book Twilight one day. It is worth the money! I even have two copies! Anyone would be as clingy as bella if they had a drop dead perfect edward cullen by their side. Yes, Jacob black is an amazing guy and he is in fact my second dream guy, but with edward cullen there is thrill and constant danger and a family of vampires who could adopt you for their own and in reality are just trying to do good in the world and save people by being doctors and hunt animals instead of hunting people. What do werewolves do, kill and keep out vampires from their land? what type of hero is that? And yes i can admit edward can act and treat bella like a child and thinks he knows best even if it is not what bella wants. But she is clingy like you said and that is a bit of the reaction about anything from a child. so i would get on with your life and miss out on the most amazing experiences that come from that book because if you really knew you would be so sorry.
a romantic i may be but for this book so is the rest of the world."

- the girl who reads twilight like a bible.


-DIES A LITTLE INSIDE-

Good for me, at least once in a while, because I've been neglecting writing an entry for the last month. At least I had a good excuse what with school and all. More like, a good SERIES of excuses. Writing this mainly because I'm tired of seeing that personal survey meme on my page xDD. Still, I really have nothing significant to talk about this time.

In no particular order:

1) My AP Bio exam was this morning. I'd rather not talk about it. xDD

Still looking forward to AP English Language Wednesday, and AP Art History next Thursday.

2) Even though it's old news, my college tour trip went pretty well. I've posted a few of my favorite photos from the trip and will continue to put up more...once I've edited them.

3) I've started figure drawing basics. Because I realize my sketches suck, haha~. Anyways I put it up to never having actually been taught to draw people. Or people doing things. Which is generally at the crux of anime. I'll post these when I get better. A HECKUVA LOT BETTER. Right now I'm too ashamed. xDDD

4) I really want to sneak out and take photos and enter them in all these DA contests for a mere CHANCE at winning a subscription.

5) I HAVE A WII!! And no Wii friends! I know, it's sad. Talk to me and we can, liek, trade friendcodes.

Only thing is, I've been busy and can't get really good playing time on it. Mario Kart is so going to waste over here!!


Anyways, I think I'll end on that happy note.
Sorry for wasting...the minutes of your life, however long it took you to read through this. xDD

In the utter emoness of my rant yesterday, I don't think I remembered to mention that....

I'M FREAKING GOING TO NEW YORK TOMORROW.

With my two good friends.
Okay, not just the three of us. (Although they're both extremely responsible. I'm not.)
If it was just the three of us my parents would probably alert the police force in advance. :B

We're going with a tour group (of the Korean fob variety) to see eight popular East Coast universities.
One of my friends doesn't speak any Korean (she's from Taiwan) so at least I won't feel left out at the orientation. Still I feel so guilty that I'm half Korean and will probably be asking my other friend for minute-by-minute translations. I BRING DISHONOR TO MY FAMILY NAME. (For some reason I thought of Mulan momentarily.)

Anyways I will be sure to take tons of pictures so I can flood DA when I come back. (Six days of no DA! Shock.)









And to entertain you while I'm gone xDDDD

[Personal Survey Meme] jacked from =Kaze-Hime

Info
[x] I am shorter than 5'4. (What a lovely way to start this off. Emphasizing my dwarfish proportions.)
[x] I think I'm ugly sometimes.
[x] I have many scars. (I guess it would depend on who you compared me to...)
[x] I tan easily. (But not as easily as my sister, HAH.)
[ ] I wish my hair was a different color. (I got over this wish in like elementary school.)
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ ] I have a tattoo.
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[x] I have/I've had braces. (Got them off my freshman year of high school.)
[x] I wear glasses. (Only occasionally, when I need to see small print from far away. I used to be like blind in only one eye but now it’s getting to be both aghhhh.)
[ ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger. (I’m guessing it was a pity compliment. xD)
[ ] I have more than 2 piercing.
[ ] I have piercing in places besides my ears.
[ ] I have freckles.

Family/Home Life
[ ] I've sworn at my parents. (If I did I’d never have lived to see this day. Asian familial piety dies hard D
[x] I've run away from home. (When I was like seven LOLLLZ. Except, I biked away from home DDD)
[ ] I've been kicked out of the house.
[x] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[x] I want to have kids someday. (Then I’ll probably kick myself at how mean I am to my parents, OTL.)
[ ] I've had children.
[ ] I've lost a child.

School/Work
[x] I'm in school. (Whoopde-flippin-do.)
[ ] I have a job
[ ] I've fallen asleep at work/school (I really try hard not to. You probably don’t believe me though.)
[x] I almost always do my homework. (It’s a struggle.)
[ ] I've missed a week or more of school.
[x] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years (I don’t feel this to be a crowning achievement though.)
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year
[ ] I've stolen something from my job
[ ] I've been fired

Embarrassment
[x] I've slipped out an "lol" in a spoken conversation. (I'M SORRRYYYYY, OH GOD HAVE MERCY I'LL NEVER DO IT AGAINNNNNN.)
[ ] Disney movies still make me cry.
[ ] I've peed from laughing.
[x] I've snorted while laughing. (I do this on purpose to my mother. ON PURPOSE, YOU HEAR ME.)
[x] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[ ] I've glued my hand to something.
[x] I've had my pants rip in public. (At the airport luggage claim. I was sitting on the edge when my skirt got caught by the revolving belt. When I was like eight.)

Health
[x] I was born with a disease/impairment. (Excema. I’d rather call it a condition, thank you very much.)
[ ] I've gotten stitches/staples.
[ ] I've broken a bone. (I feel pretty lucky. )
[ ] I've had my tonsils removed.
[ ] I've sat in a doctor’s office/emergency room with a friend.
[ ] I've had my wisdom teeth removed. (I chickened out when I found out I was allergic to the strongest anesthetic they could give me LOLLLLL so I still have to do it.)
[ ] I had a serious surgery.
[ ] I've had chicken pox.

Traveling
[ ] I've driven over 200 miles in one day. (I’ve been a passenger though. My dad fureaking loves road trips.)
[x] I've been on a plane.
[x] I've been to Canada.
[x] I've been to Mexico.
[ ] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I've been to Japan.
[ ] I've celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[x] I've been to Europe.
[ ] I've been to Africa.

Experiences
[ ] I've gotten lost in my city.
[ ] I've seen a shooting star.
[ ] I've wished on a shooting star.
[ ] I've seen a meteor shower.
[x] I've gone out in public in my pajamas. (Like...doesn’t every kid have some Pajama Day in elementary school like I did??)
[x] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator. (When I was a kid. I usually refrained from hitting the fire alarm button though. :/)
[x] I've kicked a guy where it hurts. (Apparently I used to beat up my wimpy second-cousin when we were kids. I swear I can’t remember doing that though.)
[x] I've been to a casino.
[ ] I've been skydiving.
[ ] I've gone skinny dipping.
[ ] I've played spin the bottle.
[ ] I've drunk a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[ ] I've crashed a car.
[x] I've been Skiing. (And I live in Canada... for shame.)
[x ] I've been in a play. (What, first grade???)
[ ] I've met someone in person from Myspace.
[x] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I've seen the Northern lights. (I wish.)
[ ] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[ ] I've played chicken. (If I knew what that was...)
[x] I've played a prank on someone. (In middle school I did tons of things I was sure I wouldn’t get caught for.)
[x] I've ridden in a taxi. (In Mexico one time, my mom was craving for some tacos, so she asked our driver to take us to his favorite foodstand.)
[ ] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[ ] I've eaten sushi. (Korean kimbab is essentially the same, though.)
[x] I've been snowboarding. (Ftw.)

Relationships
[x] I'm single.
[ ] I'm in a relationship.
[ ] I'm engaged.
[ ] I'm married.
[ ] I've gone on a blind date.
[ ] I've been the dumped more than the dumper.
[ ] I miss someone right now.
[ ] I have a fear of abandonment. (Hey, maybe I would know if I ever got close to being abandoned.)
[ ] I've gotten divorced.
[x] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back. (Well...)
[ ] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[ ] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did. (I’ve never been in that awkward situation. xD)
[ ] I've kept something from a past relationship.

Sexuality
[x] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex. (Yes, Lizzie, Emily, you know it’s true.)
[ ] I've had a crush on a teacher. (ROFL.)
[ ] I am a cuddler.
[ ] I've been kissed in the rain.
[ ] I've hugged a stranger.
[ ] I have kissed a stranger.

Honesty/Crime
[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't. (Still, going back on promises makes me super uncomfortable. :/)
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't. (Who hasn't, you self-righteous bitches?!)
[ ] I've snuck out of my house.
[ ] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world. (Lol.)
[x] I've cheated while playing a game. (I used to steal letters from the Scrabble bag in between turns xD)
[x] I've cheated on a test.
[ ] I've run a red light.
[ ] I've been suspended from school.
[x] I've witnessed a crime. (People steal stuff at school all the time >>
[x] I've been in a fist fight. (With my younger sister. She usually wins because I’m fatally ticklish OTL)
[ ] I've been arrested.

Drugs/Alcohol
[x] I've consumed alcohol. (Just sips though...I swear.)
[ ] I regularly drink.
[ ] I've passed out from drinking.
[ ] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
[ ] I've smoked weed.
[ ] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
[ ] I've eaten shrooms.
[ ] I've popped E.
[ ] I've inhaled Nitrous.
[ ] I've done hard drugs.
[ ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[x] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem (I can swallow ‘em dry, too...It’s freakish, I know.)
[ ] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
[ ] I have been diagnosed with one or more anxiety disorder.
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed. (We all do, really...)
[ ] I take anti-depressants.
[ ] I'm anorexic or bulimic.
[ ] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
[ ] I've hurt myself on purpose.
[x] I've woken up crying.

Death and Suicide
[ ] I'm afraid of dying.
[x] I hate funerals.
[ ] I've seen someone dying.
[ ] Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
[ ] Someone close to me has committed suicide.
[ ] I've planned my own suicide. (Hypothetical scenarios don’t count. :/)
[ ] I've attempted suicide.
[ ] I've written a eulogy for myself. (Who has time ROFL)

Materialism
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[x] I own an iPod or MP3 player.
[ ] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga. (I wouldn’t call it unhealthy.)
[ ] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[x] I own something from Hot Topic. (I might...just to be sure.)
[x] I own something from Pac Sun.
[ ] I collect comic books.
[x I own something from The Gap.
[ ] I own something I got on e-bay.
[x] I own something from Abercrombie.

Random
[ ] I can sing well. (Define “well.”
[ ] I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[ ] I open up to others easily. You ask me a question I'm most likely going to answer it. (Opposite, really.)
[x] I watch the news.
[ ] I don't kill bugs. (I don’t like doing it.)
[x] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
[x] I curse regularly. (Although I still get annoyed when I hear it in excess.)
[x] I sing in the shower. (With the bathroom vent on, so no one can hear meeeeeeee.)
[ ] I am a morning person.
[ ] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[x] I'm a snob about grammar.
[ ] I am a sports fanatic.
[ ] I twirl my hair.
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[ ] I love being neat.
[ ] I love Spam.
[ ] I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day.
[ ] I bake well. (I EAT CAKE WELL.)
[ ] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue
[ ] I've worn pajamas to school.
[ ] I like Martha Stewart.
[ ] I know how to shoot a gun. (I actually wish I did.)
[ ] I am in love with love.
[x] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS. (I was nine okay.)
[x] I laugh at my own jokes. (Wow, how lame.)
[ ] I eat fast food weekly.
[ ] I believe in ghosts.

[ ] I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
[x] I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class. (Does PE count?!)
[x] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room. (Especially if it’s near my bed.)
[xxxxxxxx] I am really ticklish. (I giggle at the mere thought of someone tickling me.)
[ ] I love white chocolate (My least favorite.)
[x] I bite my nails. (Yeah, I got over it once and now it’s baaaaack.)
[x] I play video games. (If my parents let me D
[ ] I'm good at remembering faces.
[x] I'm good at remembering names.
[ ] I'm good at remembering dates.
[ ] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.

[x] All of those are answered honestly. (Unless I didn’t answer this last one honestly. MUAHAHAH that would be tricky now wouldn't it?! xD)

My DA anniversary recently passed, which got me thinking about my art. Lately I’ve been mostly posting nature photography and almost no drawings/illustrations.

Unfortunately my drawing now comes down to 1) Doodling at home 2) Doodling with Lizzie and 3) Trying new things to disastrous effect.

This has gotten me scared, for one thing, because I no longer think I am growing as an artist. My reasons for coming to DA have always involved my personal improvement, whether it was through constructive criticism or the influences of others’ art styles. Drawing used to make sense. With the right attitude and huge amounts of practice, you could always improve. Fixing things only takes time and dedication.

I don’t know. I’ve lost some of my enthusiasm. I know I’ve gotten significantly better with the ins and outs of photography, but I don’t feel like that will ever be something I enjoy as much as drawing. It simply doesn’t give me the same burst of interest as when I figure out how to draw something new for the first time. It’s special, for someone as untalented, careless, and unoriginal as I am to get this simple feeling. Sometimes I feel like I’m trying to describe a <insert substance here> high xDD

For me, everything’s quiet right now; nothing’s happening. I don’t know if I’m not trying hard enough, or if I’m trying the wrong things, but everything seems to be going towards conflicting directions. I can’t tell if I’m getting anywhere, if I’m improving anymore.

I cringe every time I think about this babbling, ranting nonsense.